Confidence For Young Women

confidence |ˈkɒnfɪd(ə)ns |

noun
  1. the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
  • the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
  • a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

Think about it for a second – who portrays your perfect picture of ‘confidence’? What is it about them that makes them confident? It’s likely that said person has a couple of traits, if you may, that make her seem confident. This person radiates happiness and positivity. But allow me to let you in on a secret – these people that are seen as confident, they’re not always 100% confident, they have their bad days too. Some days worse than the others. What’s different about them though, is their mindset.

If you come to see it, most young women and girls – no matter what race, religion, or culture – lack confidence, some a lot more than others. It is not uncommon for them to feel the need to seek validation from other people or to want to be like someone else just to fit in. If you ask me, it’s rather sad actually, seeing all these amazing, wonderful girls busying their lives with self-doubt or what not. I say life is too short to worry about what others think, it’s time to start loving yourself.

As someone who has dealt with self-esteem and confidence issues in the past, I can tell you it isn’t easy. But once you learn to put yourself first, oh you can’t imagine how happy you’ll be. Learning to build your confidence and to love yourself can be a very challenging task, but it’s one of the most important things that one can do. Confidence is like a muscle; the more you use it, the more it grows. It is a skill you can learn. Master it and wear it out on your sleeve for the world to see. I’m going to fill you in on how I built my own self-confidence growing up. Here are the most important steps to help you head in the right direction on your journey of self-growth.

ONE – FOCUS ON THE PRESENT

A lot of us allow ourselves to be held back by our pasts, and this can be very damaging, to say the least. Honestly, what do you get by dwelling on the past? You’re just throwing away the present, literally wasting time by doing so. Accept it and make peace with it, and learn to live in the ‘now’.  I spent years of my life lingering over the past. It brought way more harm than it did well, but again, what’s happened has happened and I’ve accepted that. Allow yourself to grow, to learn from your past, don’t let it hold you back from living in the present.

TWO – TEACH YOURSELF TO SMILE

Believe it or not, I never ever used to smile. I was extremely self-conscious, I also just didn’t know how to smile. I didn’t know how to be happy. Sounds odd, but it’s true. Teach yourself to smile more often, all the time. Smile to strangers or to yourself in the mirror. Smiling has this effect, it just automatically lifts your mood and confidence and keeps you from having a bad day. This will automatically bring about happiness, and it’ll leave you feeling great (even if you’ve had a not-so-great day).

THREE – WRITE DOWN YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS

Acknowledge your achievements – no matter how big or small, list out your strengths, write them all down and be proud of yourself because YOU did that. All by yourself. That deserves a little celebration and self-acknowledgment. Think about where you were a week, a month, or even a whole year ago. With self-doubt, it’s easy to ignore your accomplishments and everything positive. Quit beating yourself up, you’re so much better than that. Look how far you’ve come, despite everything.

FOUR – STOP COMPARING

Please. Stop. Comparing. Yourself. To. Other. People. This is one of the worst things to do by far and can be very toxic. Everyone is unique and so so different, so special in their own way. You can never be another person, but you can strive to be the best version of yourself. Someone will always seem prettier, smarter, or whatever else, but they will never be you. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else, you’ll feel and come off as extremely beautiful, just like you are.

FIVE – DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL

You can’t always expect life to be all colorful and peachy; failure and setbacks are inevitable. It’s part of the process, part of success. Don’t let the fear of failure hold you back. Instead, accept it and learn from it, and allow yourself to grow. This is all part of creating a great life. Accept the fact that life brings us both highs and lows, and understand that failure is the stepping stone to success. You cannot let failure define you, let it teach you instead. Say goodbye to that self-doubt that’s resting in your head, toss it away. It’s unwelcome. Don’t let it kill your dreams.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” -Elbert Hubbard

SIX – BE GENTLE TOWARDS YOURSELF

Treat yourself with kindness, love, and patience, like you would a child. You wouldn’t be rude to a child if they’ve made a mistake or if they’re upset about something silly, and you would acknowledge their dreams no matter how big and weird they may seem. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone gets upset and has bad days, everyone has passions and dreams. Don’t be harsh on yourself, no matter the circumstances. Love yourself. Always put yourself and your health first.

Confidence and self-growth is a very vast topic, and I have so much to talk about regarding the matter. For now, however, this should be enough. Self-confidence is a superpower – once you start believing in yourself, the magic will happen. It’s all a mind game. Change your mindset and you will change your life for the better, I promise you this.

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50 Things To Be Happy About

It’s not always that I take the time to think about what there is to be happy about, but doing so every once in a while helps me realize that despite having bad days and things to worry about, the positive way outweighs the negative. Even the simplest things can make one happy, like leaves or board games, or baking a cake. I very often forget the things to be happy about, and I let the stress and negativity get to me. I realize there’s no point in sulking or being mad, so I’ve put together a little list of 50 things to be happy about.

50 Things To Be Happy About

  1. Compliments
  2. Naps
  3. Lazy days
  4. Good cups of coffee
  5. Bookstores and libraries
  6. Handwritten letters
  7. Smiling without reason
  8. Long phone calls
  9. Comfortable silence
  10. Good memories
  11. Laughing till it hurts
  12. Family
  13. Best friends and loved ones
  14. Rainy days
  15. Sleeping in
  16. Having a good laugh with someone special
  17. Surprises
  18. Babies
  19. Traveling
  20. Fresh sheets
  21. Weekends
  22. Dark chocolate
  23. Pretty flowers
  24. Picnics
  25. Being productive
  26. Open windows
  27. Silent mornings or nights
  28. Museums
  29. Warm hugs
  30. Movie nights
  31. Being in love
  32. Being loved
  33. Words
  34. Learning new things
  35. Adventures
  36. Art
  37. Empty pages of a notebook
  38. “Good morning” or “good night”
  39. Cheese and crackers
  40. Sweatpants
  41. Jeans that fit perfectly
  42. Photographs
  43. Nature
  44. Animals
  45. Exploring new cities and places
  46. Dessert
  47. Honesty
  48. Food
  49. Smashing a workout
  50. New clothes

And there you have it. While there are many more, these are 50 things to be happy about. I do have to admit, this made me feel really nice, writing out this list. Hopefully, it makes you smile too.

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Nostalgia

There are certain moments – or people – in your life that just bring you this unexplainable happiness. There are also those songs that you were listening to during said moments, and so every time you hear it again it fills you with pure joy and a whole bunch of other emotions. It’s a lovely feeling, but it’s also quite overwhelming. Why? Well, I can’t really say for everyone, but personally, I think it’s because of the mixture of feelings. I feel this really strong urge to be back in that particular situation, and it just overwhelms me. Like nostalgia maybe. But otherwise, it’s an amazing feeling, looking back. I mean, when you’re in the moment, whether it be with people you love or just you alone, you just enjoy it. You’re not thinking about how you’d feel looking back. Even if it’s me alone, in cute sweats or a onesie (or with pizza and my jakey – or even just binge watching my fave tv series, you know what I mean?) Those are my favorite moments. That’s what I love about making memories, the “remember when…”s. I was actually listening to a couple songs while writing this, it’s why I actually got the motivation I needed to write. The songs that made me think about the memories I’ve made with the people I hold so close to my heart. Thank you to everyone who has helped me create amaaaaaazing memories, I love you guys.

nostalgia

Allie x

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