Blank.

Sometimes I just stare at a blank screen or sheet of paper, wanting nothing more than to write, but the words fail to find their way out of my head. They just linger there, unable to put themselves together to form even the simplest of sentences. Times like these are often very frustrating, and sometimes it gets me mad. My mind feels as blank as the paper I am looking at, yet in reality, it’s the exact opposite of that. There’s nothing I can do really, except to start writing something, anything, in hopes that I no longer have to stare at a sheet that’s so painfully empty. Part of what I write might not make sense, but I believe that the rest of it does. Sometimes I write poems, other times I write what I feel. Most times I just ramble, but what I write is real. I’ll go on and on about stuff that is pointless, things that no one even cares about, but I know that out of billions, there is at least one other person who knows this feeling all too well. I write my last sentence and look once again, this time satisfied as I see the sheet that was once so irritatingly clean, now covered in words.


Just a little something to clear my head.

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Nostalgia

There are certain moments – or people – in your life that just bring you this unexplainable happiness. There are also those songs that you were listening to during said moments, and so every time you hear it again it fills you with pure joy and a whole bunch of other emotions. It’s a lovely feeling, but it’s also quite overwhelming. Why? Well, I can’t really say for everyone, but personally, I think it’s because of the mixture of feelings. I feel this really strong urge to be back in that particular situation, and it just overwhelms me. Like nostalgia maybe. But otherwise, it’s an amazing feeling, looking back. I mean, when you’re in the moment, whether it be with people you love or just you alone, you just enjoy it. You’re not thinking about how you’d feel looking back. Even if it’s me alone, in cute sweats or a onesie (or with pizza and my jakey – or even just binge watching my fave tv series, you know what I mean?) Those are my favorite moments. That’s what I love about making memories, the “remember when…”s. I was actually listening to a couple songs while writing this, it’s why I actually got the motivation I needed to write. The songs that made me think about the memories I’ve made with the people I hold so close to my heart. Thank you to everyone who has helped me create amaaaaaazing memories, I love you guys.

nostalgia

Allie x

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You ❤️

After ages of thinking about words I could use to describe you, I’ve come to think of you as indescribable.

And to say you’ve crossed my mind would be impossible, because let’s just say you never left.

It’s like everything that I’ll ever need, all in one person.

You. ❤️

a.m 

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They don’t know

They don’t know the real me

The one that’s all pretend

The me that might seem happy

But has thoughts running till 2 am

They don’t know

They don’t know I’ve feelings too

I’m only human after all

I make mistakes and have my flaws

They’ve made me build up walls

They don’t know

They don’t know I like being me

All my jokes and smiles and scars

Always trying to change and control

Well guess what? I don’t people-please

They just don’t know

They don’t know how much you mean to me

But all they choose to see

Is the non-existent ‘obsession’ I have for you

And what a bitch that makes me

I fail to see how my happiness has anything to do with them

All I know is that I’m not perfect

And trust me I’m trying my best

They don’t know

Allie M  17/oct/2015

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